Whenever I have the middle seat on a flight, I board absolutely last to really excite then disappoint the people in my row.

Happy 4th! 🇹🇷

Hitler started by spreading lies and hate about the Jews. Do you paint too? https://t.co/d5gQUBVeC3

CEOs of condom companies putting down payments on their new yachts rn.

Saira’s vomit is in my front yard. I just cleaned it up and there were sooo many chunks of bullshit in there. https://t.co/S8G3xpWTr2

Dad, if it weren't for you I'd be on the streets somewhere... administering health care to the homeless because I could have been a doctor.

Why do women hate mansplaining so much?? Anything that makes me Google less is the fuckin best.